Remembering Millie: Holding Space for Grief During the Holiday Season

The holiday season is often wrapped in lights, laughter, and traditions that promise joy. But for many families, this time of year carries a much heavier weight. For the DeClercq family, this holiday season looks different. It is marked by the heartbreaking loss of their daughter, Millie, a loss felt not only by her loved ones, but by an entire community that watched her story with hope, love, and admiration.

Pediatric cancer does not pause for holidays. It does not wait for a “better time.” And when a child is lost, the absence is especially loud during moments that are meant to be filled with togetherness. Empty chairs, unopened gifts, and traditions that suddenly feel impossible can turn celebrations into reminders of what has been taken.

Millie’s life, though far too short, mattered deeply. She mattered to her family, to friends, and to countless people who followed her journey. Remembering her means more than acknowledging loss, it means carrying forward the love she inspired and extending that love to others who are hurting.

The Quiet Reality of Holiday Grief

For families grieving a child, the holidays can feel isolating. While the world seems to move forward with celebration, those in mourning are often just trying to get through the day. There is no “right” way to grieve, and no timeline that makes loss easier, especially when pediatric cancer is involved.

Grief during the holidays can look like:

• Wanting to participate one moment and needing space the next

• Smiling for others while hurting deeply inside

• Feeling forgotten as routines resume for everyone else

Acknowledging this reality is one of the most meaningful things we can do.

Ways to Support Families Hurting This Holiday Season

You don’t need perfect words or grand gestures to make a difference. Small acts of care can mean everything.

1. Say their child’s name
Millie is not forgotten. Speaking her name and sharing memories shows her family that her life continues to matter.

2. Show up…without expectations
A message that says, “I’m thinking of you,” or “No need to respond, I just want you to know I care,” removes pressure while offering support.

3. Be patient with changing emotions
Grief isn’t linear. Some days may feel manageable; others overwhelming. Allow space for both.

4. Offer practical help
Dropping off a meal, helping with errands, or watching siblings can ease everyday burdens that feel especially heavy during grief.

5. Support pediatric cancer causes
Donating, volunteering, or raising awareness in Millie’s honor helps transform loss into action and hope for other families.

6. Remember beyond the holidays
Grief doesn’t end when decorations come down. Continued support in the weeks and months after the holidays is deeply meaningful.

Carrying Love Forward

The DeClercq family’s loss reminds us that behind every festive photo and cheerful greeting, there may be unseen pain. This season, let us lead with compassion. Let us be gentler, slower to judge, and quicker to love.

As we remember Millie this holiday season, may we honor her by caring for one another, especially those whose hearts are hurting the most.